When to send save the dates, invitations and RSVP reminders

The short version

• Save the date: 6 to 8 months before the wedding, or 8 to 12 months for a destination wedding or a date close to a holiday.
• Wedding website: live when the save the dates go out, so guests have somewhere to look for travel and hotel details.
• Invitation: 6 to 8 weeks before the wedding, or about 3 months before for a destination wedding.
• RSVP deadline: 3 to 4 weeks before the wedding, or whenever your caterer and venue need final numbers, plus a few days of margin.
• Reminder: a short, friendly note a week before the RSVP deadline to anyone who hasn't answered.

Save the dates: the early heads-up

A save the date has one job: protect the date in your guests' calendars before anything else claims it. It doesn't need the full schedule, only your names, the date and the city. If you already have a wedding website, add the link so guests can start looking at travel.

Send it earlier when guests need to plan more: a wedding abroad, a long weekend, a date near a holiday, or a guest list that is spread across the country. If your engagement is short, it is fine to skip the save the date and send the invitation a little earlier instead.

Only send a save the date to people you are certain to invite. Once it is out, it is a promise.

The wedding website: live from the first message

Guests will look for the same things again and again: the address, the time, where to stay, what to wear, whether children are invited. A wedding website answers those questions once, so you don't answer them fifty times by text. Put it live with the save the dates and keep it updated; changes there reach everyone without sending anything new.

Invitations: the formal request

The invitation carries the details that make the day work: ceremony and reception times and places, the RSVP request and the deadline. Six to eight weeks gives guests enough time to arrange travel and childcare without forgetting about it. For a destination wedding, send it closer to three months out.

Work backwards from your RSVP deadline. If the caterer needs numbers three weeks before, set the deadline a few days before that, and send the invitations at least four weeks before the deadline.

RSVPs: make answering effortless

Most late answers aren't rude, they are forgotten. The easier it is to reply, the more replies you get on time. A few things help:

• Ask for an answer for each person in the party, not one answer per envelope. It avoids the "we'll be four" surprise.
• Ask only what you will use: attendance, meal choice if you are serving plated meals, dietary needs, maybe a song request.
• Put the deadline in the invitation and on the website, in the same words.
• Collect every answer in one list, so you aren't merging texts, emails and calls by hand.

The reminder nobody minds

About a week before the deadline, send a short note to anyone who hasn't answered: "We'd love to know if you can make it. Could you reply by Friday?" Keep it light. If you are using a digital invitation, send the same link again; the RSVP is right there.

A sample timeline for a wedding on September 18

• February: save the dates go out, wedding website live.
• Mid July: invitations go out.
• Mid August: one-week reminder to anyone who hasn't replied.
• August 21: RSVP deadline.
• Late August: final numbers to the caterer and venue.

Quick answers

How far in advance should you send save the dates?

Usually 6 to 8 months before the wedding, and 8 to 12 months for a destination wedding or a date near a holiday.

When should wedding invitations go out?

6 to 8 weeks before the wedding, or about 3 months before for a destination wedding.

When should the RSVP deadline be?

3 to 4 weeks before the wedding, a few days before your caterer and venue need final numbers.